I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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