I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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