this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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