and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
