his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
