It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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