Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
