Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
