maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
