do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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