Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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