she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
