I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it glows. i had to have it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize