yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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