I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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