ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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