I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
