He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
