Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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