Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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