He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
