I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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