He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
