Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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