i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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