My nipple is on Facebook.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
