is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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