im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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