I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize