Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
