i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We are two peas in an std pod
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
