Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The best revenge is premature balding
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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