I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
