i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
