Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
