My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
