We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
