dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize