fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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