He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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