Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
