Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's the barista slut.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
