As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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