At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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