so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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