I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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