you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
