Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Someone came in the potted fern
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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