they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
