I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
