hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
