...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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