i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
