we have pet lesbian snakes
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
