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My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
wow bdsm is so cute
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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