i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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