I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
