i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I could fuck to npr.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
