i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
