hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize