he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
