So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
