do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
