Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
