I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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