Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize