Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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