idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
