you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize