Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
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