She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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