"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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