Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize