morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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