So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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