Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Randomize