Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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